i got a booboo

I am a slight masochist, and today I decided to mutilate my finger in bio cause I was bored and it was bothering me. I was going to upload the photo to my flickr (there's new pics on there, go look) but it wouldn't take a decent picture. stupid pictures.

lovey lyrics by Marc Cohn

I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love
Well I hope that I don’t fall in love with you
‘Cause falling in love just makes me blue

I think this song is just so beautiful. And not that there's a particular person I'm talking about, but this just fits my mood lately. I want no part of love. Not now, probably not ever. It just hurts too much. Love is whats making my mom stay with my dad. Love is what is making people put up with horribly destructive ways. Love is what makes my friends all go crazy. And it puts people in situations that, if they weren't experiencing this emotion, even they would see as crazy. As that song goes, love hurts.

Today my mom was saying "Just stay away from guys. I know you want love, but it's not worth it" That surprised me. I totally didn't expect her to say that she knows I want love, because I'm always saying how much of a pain it has to be. And sure, she laughed afterwards to show that she was partly kidding, but she also partly wasn't. Love makes you go through so much. And I guess if you love this person you'll go through the things willingly to have that love. But is life so bad without it? I guess it has to be, if so many people want love so bad.

Can we help falling in love? I'd like to think so, but the more I explore it, the more I doubt that we can. As that song goes, he doesn't want to fall in love with her... and one of the last lines is "I think that I just fell in love with you." So that'd mean no, we can't control it.

I hate that it can't be controlled. I'm not even in love, and I'm already miserable just thinking about it.

(Perhaps this post was inspired by the thought of going back to college this Sunday, a place that is more than 75% girls (the majority of whom fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat)...)

I guess I should while I still can?

That's the attitude I had upon waking up after a 5 1/2 hour nap. That's right, I apparently just slept for 5 1/2 hours, only waking up now (at almost 11pm). I didn't feel like watching the action movie my dad had rented, so I decided to go take a little nap instead. My mom said that my dad even asked me after that movie (in about the middle of my nap) if I wanted to watch March of the Penguins and I said no. I don't remember him even asking! I don't really mind much, I may as well nap when I can because this upcoming semester starts this coming Monday and I am going to be working my tail off to get better grades than I did this past semester (I don't have a choice, if my grades dont improve I wont have my scholarships to go back to school-- yikes). I wonder what time I'll be going to sleep tonight?

Happy New Year!

Well it's my first post of the new year (yay.) so I thought I'd share something... I now have a flickr.com account... so if you're curious and wanna see what i look like or just be nosey or something, i'm here. Don't get excited, the pics are nothing special.

I hope everyone has a happy new year!