Isn't it strange how your whole world can seem to crash, in only one split second? You can be going along, thinking everything is going great, when suddenly something happens. And everything changes. And then, it changes again. In an instant. You can go from being incredibly deppressed and worried to happy and carefree. In an instant. That thing that was so life altering? It's better. In an instant.
The point of this is that things change. All of the time. In... well I'm not saying it again. So I am going to try to remember that if something or even someone has you down, mad/ upset/ scared/ crying, it WILL change. It will be fixed. You just have to wait for that instant.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
it seems like such a long time since I've blogged...
So have you ever had one of those weeks where it seems like everything is just long and drug out and that when you think back on another time in the previous week it seems like such a long time ago... and then you realize that it was just 4 days ago. Not the weeks like you tallied in your head by the amount of emotions you went through, no, mere days. In another mere 4 days I will hopefully be at home in my own bed. Or, not in my bed since it's early, but at least in my house. In my home. Sometimes I miss it, and sometimes I think it's cool to be here. In a dorm. Sharing with 2 other girls. And some days I don't even mind the endless noise of people in the hall, or the hushed voices (after 'Quiet hours' officially starts at 10pm on a weekday) walking past your door. Sometimes it doesn't bother me. Most times it doesn't. And then every once in awhile you have a morning like I had, and all the stress you feel like you can endure comes at you at once.
Life's tough, wear a helmet. That should be changed to College is tough, wear a helmet. And if you sleep on the bottom bunk, I mean that literally. I've only hit my head on the edge while standing up once, but trust me once is enough to make me remember to duck.
"What's your favorite ice cream flavor?" " Do you miss your parents?" "Who is going to the ice cream social/foam party/music party/etcetera...?" There's a lot of questions asked, a lot answered. A ton of icebreaker things, such as games and.... learning how to salsa...
yes, that's right, I said I learned how to salsa. Now, kindly, pick your jaws up off the floor and I'll tell you how it's not what you think. Or maybe it is...
It was just a few simple steps, put together to form a couple little 'routines'. It was silly, but really fun once everyone (myself included, or perhaps foremost), loosened up and just laughed their way through it. This is the deal. There were about 100 kids in the group, give or take a few. I'm just going to make it 90 so it's easier for me to do the math. We were divided into groups of 3- 2 girls and a guy generally, with the tallest person (the guy almost always) being in the middle. We lined up so that if you were to draw a circle around the room, we were all standing the same way with the guy in the middle on the 'line' and 1 girl on the outside and one on the in. And so we salsa'd. Which basically means, we took 8 steps forward- hips and knees loose mind you- and 8 back, and then took spins under the middle guys arms. That whole routine, once everyone got the hang of it, took about 30 seconds each time and then after that us girls moved to the guy in front of us while the guys stay put. We made about a half circuit around the long circle, trading partners every time the whistle blew. And then we learned a new routine, where it's just 1 on 1, and involved putting our hands on eachothers shoulders/backs/hands. And then we did that for awhile, until every girl had moved danced with every partner once. It was crazy, but fun.
And there was a gameshow that I participated in, loudly amongst all the other kids and a wacky host/dj which was maybe the most fun I had. It was funny, the dj/host was sarcastic. It's one of those things I'm glad I experienced cause it was unlike me to do so.
I also went to a foam dance, but I didn't go in the foam. I went to the ice cream social with a group of girls including my roomates. Good ice cream, vanilla and caramel. yumm.
That's pretty much been my experience so far... I'd mention the scholarly stuff but... eh, I don't feel like it now. I'll blog again soon, before the new-ness wears off, count on it.
Life's tough, wear a helmet. That should be changed to College is tough, wear a helmet. And if you sleep on the bottom bunk, I mean that literally. I've only hit my head on the edge while standing up once, but trust me once is enough to make me remember to duck.
"What's your favorite ice cream flavor?" " Do you miss your parents?" "Who is going to the ice cream social/foam party/music party/etcetera...?" There's a lot of questions asked, a lot answered. A ton of icebreaker things, such as games and.... learning how to salsa...
yes, that's right, I said I learned how to salsa. Now, kindly, pick your jaws up off the floor and I'll tell you how it's not what you think. Or maybe it is...
It was just a few simple steps, put together to form a couple little 'routines'. It was silly, but really fun once everyone (myself included, or perhaps foremost), loosened up and just laughed their way through it. This is the deal. There were about 100 kids in the group, give or take a few. I'm just going to make it 90 so it's easier for me to do the math. We were divided into groups of 3- 2 girls and a guy generally, with the tallest person (the guy almost always) being in the middle. We lined up so that if you were to draw a circle around the room, we were all standing the same way with the guy in the middle on the 'line' and 1 girl on the outside and one on the in. And so we salsa'd. Which basically means, we took 8 steps forward- hips and knees loose mind you- and 8 back, and then took spins under the middle guys arms. That whole routine, once everyone got the hang of it, took about 30 seconds each time and then after that us girls moved to the guy in front of us while the guys stay put. We made about a half circuit around the long circle, trading partners every time the whistle blew. And then we learned a new routine, where it's just 1 on 1, and involved putting our hands on eachothers shoulders/backs/hands. And then we did that for awhile, until every girl had moved danced with every partner once. It was crazy, but fun.
And there was a gameshow that I participated in, loudly amongst all the other kids and a wacky host/dj which was maybe the most fun I had. It was funny, the dj/host was sarcastic. It's one of those things I'm glad I experienced cause it was unlike me to do so.
I also went to a foam dance, but I didn't go in the foam. I went to the ice cream social with a group of girls including my roomates. Good ice cream, vanilla and caramel. yumm.
That's pretty much been my experience so far... I'd mention the scholarly stuff but... eh, I don't feel like it now. I'll blog again soon, before the new-ness wears off, count on it.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
goodbye...
And so it's almost that time... I'm leaving for CM on Friday morning, around 7ish, so I won't have time to post again before I leave. Tomorrow will be spent packing my clothes- and everything else that I've forgotten to box up.
So, I leave you with a bit of an update, I got my haircut. Styled more. Got about 5 inches cut off, which I didn't really want but it needed because it was mainly dead/split ends. It looks and feels a lot softer, lighter, and healthier, so it was a good thing to do. I also got my pictures taken today. I'm not sure why, it was a spur of the moment decision that went kind of like this:
mom: Heather, you should get your pictures taken before you leave friday.
me: Yea, I should. I wonder how late walmarts photo place is open.
*check schedule*
me: mom, I'm leaving.
I waited there for about 2 hours before I was squeezed into the girl's extremly busy schedule, but I didn't mind because she was doing me a favor- it was either she squeezed me in then or I wouldn't have been able to get it done there at all before Friday. She was such a sweetie, funny and really a nice person. She stayed later, she was supposed to close at 7pm, and she didn't even get to take me until 7:05 and then there was another walk-up customer after me she said she'd take. As she said "I don't care, I get paid for the extra time." So, I'd like to say thanks to Dana for making the whole painful photo taking process actually fun. I laughed, a lot. I would definetly go to her again, it's too bad all of my photography experiences aren't like that.
Ok, enough of my babbling, have a great week or so, I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get the internet hooked up on campus, but once I do I'll let you know how I'm adjusting to being a college student. Wish me luck!
So, I leave you with a bit of an update, I got my haircut. Styled more. Got about 5 inches cut off, which I didn't really want but it needed because it was mainly dead/split ends. It looks and feels a lot softer, lighter, and healthier, so it was a good thing to do. I also got my pictures taken today. I'm not sure why, it was a spur of the moment decision that went kind of like this:
mom: Heather, you should get your pictures taken before you leave friday.
me: Yea, I should. I wonder how late walmarts photo place is open.
*check schedule*
me: mom, I'm leaving.
I waited there for about 2 hours before I was squeezed into the girl's extremly busy schedule, but I didn't mind because she was doing me a favor- it was either she squeezed me in then or I wouldn't have been able to get it done there at all before Friday. She was such a sweetie, funny and really a nice person. She stayed later, she was supposed to close at 7pm, and she didn't even get to take me until 7:05 and then there was another walk-up customer after me she said she'd take. As she said "I don't care, I get paid for the extra time." So, I'd like to say thanks to Dana for making the whole painful photo taking process actually fun. I laughed, a lot. I would definetly go to her again, it's too bad all of my photography experiences aren't like that.
Ok, enough of my babbling, have a great week or so, I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get the internet hooked up on campus, but once I do I'll let you know how I'm adjusting to being a college student. Wish me luck!
Friday, August 20, 2004
aching muscles
Thursday brought storms and chaos to my house. While nature was busy dumping 5 inches of rain in one day, I was busy driving my dad to the doctors and the hospital. He was given a strict no lifting order- including and not limited to lifting boxlots (which is necessary when your business is comprised of selling things) until they found out exactly why he was in such pain. Thursday evening was spent watching movies, and Friday was another day at home because it was deemed too much for dad to go to an auction. The auction was not to be his therapy that day, his way of focusing his attention defficit in one area that he just happens to love, because at an auction he would, undoubtably, lift tons of things he wasn't supposed to.
Saturday is normally a day of preparing for Sunday. Many people do not realize just how much work goes into maintaining such a large stand as my dad has. They think he gets up Sunday around 7ish, and his boxes magically unpack and price themselves. People don't realize that my dad works over 50 hours in a normal week, buying, loading, delivering, unpacking, rearranging, etc. It's a lot of physical work. Saturdays he goes to the market around 2pm, and he sleeps over so as to have more time to set up his stand, works til about 11pm when he goes to sleep, and wakes up at 4 to answer the demands of his early morning customers. He gets to go home when the last customer leaves, usually around 5pm. He goes home, sometimes eats dinner, and finally catches up on his rest. It's a lot of work.
I think I lost my point there somewheres. Lets start again. Saturday is normally a day spent preparing for Sunday. Never has that been more true than this past Saturday...
Because of the days of mandatory rest, we had not been down to his stand to check on it since the nasty rainfalls. It turns out that his stand is a complete mess. There are things that just floated to other places, tables overturned because of the rain, the creek flooded in places over a foot deep, there are literally holes in the ground over 1 1/2 foot deep, and 8 feet wide. The gravel that is usually spread out relativly evenly by thousands of feet over the week is now in piles 8inches deep in some spots, and completely bare in others. The one rug had a huge bump underneath it of gravel, and yet the rug stayed in place. It looked like on those cartoons where the kids just sweep everything under the rug instead of disposing of it.
We had a lot of work to do. And my dad wasn't allowed to do any of it.
I spent 5 hour there Saturday, 4 of them were spent strictly raking up the gravel, and shoveling it into ditches. I got my workout that day, arms and thighs were worked, pushing the gravel around.
There is, however, something to be said for how satisfying it is to see an area go from a complete mess, to a nicely raked, smooth path. It's immensly gratifying to know you had a major role in the end result. And I was proud of my sore muscles, every single one of them. They were earned, and I was proud of how hard I worked to earn them.
I've been on vacation the past few days, swimming and sleeping in a hotel with an indoor pool and uncomfortable beds. And while some of my sore muscles were from the amount of walking around I did at an amusement park, the majority of my sores were from the painful bed, and I was not near as happy to have those sore muscles as I was the past Saturday.
Saturday is normally a day of preparing for Sunday. Many people do not realize just how much work goes into maintaining such a large stand as my dad has. They think he gets up Sunday around 7ish, and his boxes magically unpack and price themselves. People don't realize that my dad works over 50 hours in a normal week, buying, loading, delivering, unpacking, rearranging, etc. It's a lot of physical work. Saturdays he goes to the market around 2pm, and he sleeps over so as to have more time to set up his stand, works til about 11pm when he goes to sleep, and wakes up at 4 to answer the demands of his early morning customers. He gets to go home when the last customer leaves, usually around 5pm. He goes home, sometimes eats dinner, and finally catches up on his rest. It's a lot of work.
I think I lost my point there somewheres. Lets start again. Saturday is normally a day spent preparing for Sunday. Never has that been more true than this past Saturday...
Because of the days of mandatory rest, we had not been down to his stand to check on it since the nasty rainfalls. It turns out that his stand is a complete mess. There are things that just floated to other places, tables overturned because of the rain, the creek flooded in places over a foot deep, there are literally holes in the ground over 1 1/2 foot deep, and 8 feet wide. The gravel that is usually spread out relativly evenly by thousands of feet over the week is now in piles 8inches deep in some spots, and completely bare in others. The one rug had a huge bump underneath it of gravel, and yet the rug stayed in place. It looked like on those cartoons where the kids just sweep everything under the rug instead of disposing of it.
We had a lot of work to do. And my dad wasn't allowed to do any of it.
I spent 5 hour there Saturday, 4 of them were spent strictly raking up the gravel, and shoveling it into ditches. I got my workout that day, arms and thighs were worked, pushing the gravel around.
There is, however, something to be said for how satisfying it is to see an area go from a complete mess, to a nicely raked, smooth path. It's immensly gratifying to know you had a major role in the end result. And I was proud of my sore muscles, every single one of them. They were earned, and I was proud of how hard I worked to earn them.
I've been on vacation the past few days, swimming and sleeping in a hotel with an indoor pool and uncomfortable beds. And while some of my sore muscles were from the amount of walking around I did at an amusement park, the majority of my sores were from the painful bed, and I was not near as happy to have those sore muscles as I was the past Saturday.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
more stuff
I bought a printer, USB cord for said mentioned printer, a wireless mouse for my dell since my mom cannot operate my touchpad and I fear she will break it by jamming her finger really hard trying to click, a dish set, a 4 port USB hub, 10- 3.5" floppy disks, and I think that's it. Why does money spend so easily? Dang Wal*Mart. It's evil. Really. It just sucks me right in and takes my money.
But on the bright side, I felt like it was (a slightly better than usual, and without all the guilt that is inspired by) Christmas as I sat there on the floor surrounded by my purchases. I think the only thing I have left to get is a fan-mat thingy so my dell doesn't get really hot on my lap, and some dish washing clothes already pre-treated with dish soap, or just plain old normal dish soap so I can use my cute new dish/wash towels. Gosh. I'm so spoiled. And I know it.
I said that at walmart today when I was paying for my things. As I'm putting everything up at the checkout counter, I mention to my sister that I'm spoiled because I'm getting so much. But you know what? I've earned it. I'm using my own money, I'm not begging it off of mom and dad, it's money I've saved from working so I could buy myself stuff. And, not to sound weird, but I've had a rough life. Really. Things I don't even write about here, cause it's too personal. Things I don't tell my best friend because it's family stuff. Especially lately, life's been less than amazing. So, what's the harm if shopping- finding the perfect black/white plates to match my beautiful maroon glasses- helps me forget things for awhile? I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm not even hurting my credit since I payed all cash. So there.
*ponders* I don't know who I was saying all of that to. Possibly the part of my brain that needs justification for spending money on myself?
But on the bright side, I felt like it was (a slightly better than usual, and without all the guilt that is inspired by) Christmas as I sat there on the floor surrounded by my purchases. I think the only thing I have left to get is a fan-mat thingy so my dell doesn't get really hot on my lap, and some dish washing clothes already pre-treated with dish soap, or just plain old normal dish soap so I can use my cute new dish/wash towels. Gosh. I'm so spoiled. And I know it.
I said that at walmart today when I was paying for my things. As I'm putting everything up at the checkout counter, I mention to my sister that I'm spoiled because I'm getting so much. But you know what? I've earned it. I'm using my own money, I'm not begging it off of mom and dad, it's money I've saved from working so I could buy myself stuff. And, not to sound weird, but I've had a rough life. Really. Things I don't even write about here, cause it's too personal. Things I don't tell my best friend because it's family stuff. Especially lately, life's been less than amazing. So, what's the harm if shopping- finding the perfect black/white plates to match my beautiful maroon glasses- helps me forget things for awhile? I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm not even hurting my credit since I payed all cash. So there.
*ponders* I don't know who I was saying all of that to. Possibly the part of my brain that needs justification for spending money on myself?
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
even random questions deserve thoughtful responses...
I've edited and revised my blogger profile. (Link to the right, under 'Me') I think the random question provided by blogger and the answer I've chosen are particularly amusing, but maybe that's because I've a warped sense of humor. Anyway, read the profile, read the Q/A, and let me know if I've totally lost any trace of sanity I may have once had.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Finally!
So, as you can see, I've finally gotten it right. The template is changed and posts are now showing up. Just as a quick update...
the laptop? I have it, I'm posting from it right now actually. I adore it. My uncle installed WinXPpro for me, and that fixed a few of the problems I had. Now, if only I could get used to picking up my thumbs when I type so they don't drag the mouse/pointer away. I'm sick of my words winding up in a different text box. But if that's the price I have to pay for having my laptop...
my cold? I still have it. It appeared to go away for a few days, only to hit me worse than before yesterday morning. Scratchy throat, messed up nose, headache, feeling like I'm underwater, the works. Ugh.
I only have 5 more working days left! I work tomorrow 1-7pm, and I also work Monday/Tues/Weds, and Friday. And Saturday, what was to be my last day, I have off. I'm happy about that of course, maybe I might start feeling like I actually had a summer this year, but then again... I am going to miss it. As weird as it sounds, I actually like being a cashier. I like meeting all types of people, from the snobby that won't say a single word to you no matter how pleasant you're being, to the elderly that are just grateful to have an ear to chat to. I really do enjoy it. Of course, it'll be nice not having to report to work on those days that I just don't want to get out of bed. Ahh, the freedom of summer.
College starts on the 27th. I quit my job on the 6th. That gives me roughly 20 days to squeeze in a summer. Any ideas?
(feel free to comment on the previous posts, I've missed feedback since my template was broken)
the laptop? I have it, I'm posting from it right now actually. I adore it. My uncle installed WinXPpro for me, and that fixed a few of the problems I had. Now, if only I could get used to picking up my thumbs when I type so they don't drag the mouse/pointer away. I'm sick of my words winding up in a different text box. But if that's the price I have to pay for having my laptop...
my cold? I still have it. It appeared to go away for a few days, only to hit me worse than before yesterday morning. Scratchy throat, messed up nose, headache, feeling like I'm underwater, the works. Ugh.
I only have 5 more working days left! I work tomorrow 1-7pm, and I also work Monday/Tues/Weds, and Friday. And Saturday, what was to be my last day, I have off. I'm happy about that of course, maybe I might start feeling like I actually had a summer this year, but then again... I am going to miss it. As weird as it sounds, I actually like being a cashier. I like meeting all types of people, from the snobby that won't say a single word to you no matter how pleasant you're being, to the elderly that are just grateful to have an ear to chat to. I really do enjoy it. Of course, it'll be nice not having to report to work on those days that I just don't want to get out of bed. Ahh, the freedom of summer.
College starts on the 27th. I quit my job on the 6th. That gives me roughly 20 days to squeeze in a summer. Any ideas?
(feel free to comment on the previous posts, I've missed feedback since my template was broken)
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