today's whiney post via email!

So today I had Circle of Friends tutoring. I actually prepared for it for once.
I had a little time to kill in between my paper conference and tutoring at
4:00, so I decided I should look up some worksheets or something for the girls
to do, since lately I feel like that 'class' (ie tutoring session) is a waste
of time for the girls since they never want to do anything and we usually just
give in. But today was going to be different. Today we were actually going to
do something, whether they liked it or not.
And we did.
I made up worksheets; 1 worksheet with about 8 sentences on nouns, 1 on verbs with 5 sentences, and 1 on adjectives with 5 sentences. These are all things we had been going over, and I thought the girls had them pretty down-pat, this was just to be a review where they underline the noun/verb/adjective. Well, Amy* was able to do it pretty quickly, with only a little help. Susan* however took some time, and sometimes I think she just randomly guessed until I said how about we look at this again... and helped her more. But it's not that she can't do it, I know she can, she did the other sentences perfectly well. It's just every once in awhile she'd get lazy and not want to do it. At one point, after finishing the worksheet, Susan shoved the papers over to me and said "you do it". I laughed and said no way I'm not doing your work... but it was kind of frustrating since we don't really require much by them any other time and then when we actually wanted them to do something they moan and groan about it the entire time.

And wow, were the insults flying today! The girls were in hyperactive mode,
insulting each other and talking loud and quickly and... just wow. They were
more hyper today than I've ever seen them, but I think a lot of that had to do
with today being the last class. According to Amy, the tutoring session next
week might be cancelled for a special field trip they might be going on, so
that makes today their last class with us since we don't tutor during Finals
week. I guess that explains the hyperness. It is a bit frustrating though.
They didnt' even want to go over to the library to read magazines or anything.
We had to practically beg and plead with them to go, calling it a field trip
and that it wasn't really "baby stuff" like they said. So we walked there, and
then rented laptops for them to surf the web on, however the internet wouldn't
work so then we had to deal with more moaning about that...

It's just one of those days I guess. Since the weather is all icky and
disgusting. Snow this morning, hail, and it looks very stormy outside now so I
bet we're in for a lot of rain soon. Oh joy. It's cold outside. Today our
attendence question in my American Cultures class was determined to be
optimistic... "what is the best thing about snow in the end of April?"... My
answer? It'll melt soon. I hate snow, as does almost everyone else in that
class.

I'm just in a gloomy kind of mood right now I guess. I need a nap.

*names have been changed on account of the off-chance that they'll find
this blog

A type of nightmare?

Have you ever woken up suddenly from a dream, thinking that the dream you just had was real? That just happened to me 2minutes ago, and my heart is still racing from it!
I dreamt that it was 12:15 in the afternoon on Friday (today) and that I had just woken up to realize I was late for class. In my dream i'm scurrying around thinking I can make the second half of class when I realize that class goes from 10-12, and so I've already missed even the second half of class. I'm thinking that I'm in major trouble, because you're not allowed to miss 2 classes in a row without getting in trouble and I missed class on Wednesday. So as I'm panicking in my dream, I wake up and almost panic in real life. And then I looked at my alarm clock and I realized it was only 8:30(am) and I'm ok. But my heart is still racing from it. And I realized that I had shut my alarm off at some point during the morning, so if I hadn't woken up when I did my dream/nightmare would probably have come true.

Sunny days are here again!

idea from here, created here.

better late than never?

The second post is a little late this week, but I blame my sister...
She spent the weekend here with me, at college. As I informed her, she's now ahead of a lot of other kids her age. How many 15 year olds that you know get to spend the weekend at a college? I think she had fun... this school does tend to be known as a "suitcase school" though, most of the students go home for the weekends. So it tends to get a little boring sometimes, but I think overall she had fun. We watched movies, went to walmart, took the shuttle there, gave her a little tour of my classroom building, and ate in the cafeteria. We were going to see a band tonight, but they apparently broke up and cancelled the gig or something. Who knows. So instead we sat out in the amphitheater until we got tired of sitting on cold slate slab seats. Then we came inside and watched Dogma. Fun fun. Tomorrow at noon we're going to brunch, and sometime after that hoov is going home :(
She wants to come up next weekend, but I think I'm going home instead. There's always next year, when I'll be living in a suite...

and my problem is...

I'm not passionate about anything. I used to have hobbies, reading, sketching, collecting, etc. I don't do much (if any) of any of that anymore. If you ask me what my hobbies are, I could name what I used to do, but now all I really do is schoolwork/class and go online. Of course I hang out with my friends a lot also, but nothing that could really be considered a hobby.
It's kind of upsetting to think that I have no hobbies. Yea well, that's what summer is for, right?

today i discovered...

Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites. mmmmmmm.

We watched it today. My mom, my sis, and me. Somehow, we ended up having this conversation:
sis: Ethan Hawke. What's he from??
me: He has his own show.
sis: No he doesn't!
me: Ok, so he doesn't. But if he did, I'd watch it.
mom: (laughing) Even if it was on the porn channel?
me: ... um... mom, is that really a question you want an answer to??
mom: no, not really.
(at this point I'm laughing hysterically)
me: sheesh you guys are going to make me hyperventilate!
mom: I'll get you a brown bag & put Ethan's name on it.



Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites. mmmmmmmmmm. yummy.

...umph.

I just don't have the umph required to blog anymore. When something happens, I don't automatically think "I should blog this!" like I used to. I don't automatically blog when I'm upset anymore either. I think it's because I tend to feel stressed when I think about writing/blogging. I feel like since I have actual readers, I should somehow make this blog better than what it is, and frankly I'm not up to doing that. I want this blog to just be me, good and bad. And even though I think sometime's its gotten away from the personal stuff that I used to write to a more general theme, it's still me. However, I'm going to try updating again, really updating with no expectations. So, the only expectation you can have is that I will blog at least twice a week. Don't expect them to be good, I have to get back into the writing for-fun habit. I think it will be a lot better over the summer, when I have more fun stress to deal with like working, as opposed to horrible stress such as schoolwork.

I am looking forward to working this summer. On one hand I'd love to be the type of kid that doesn't need the money, that actually can just lay around getting a tan by the pool all summer. But I've never been that type of kid. I need the money for next year, heck even this year I could use it, and I just don't think I could stand mooching off my parents when I could be working. And I enjoy it. Sure, I complain about it sometimes (a lot of times), but it DOES have its good points too. It can be fun.

I loved being a cashier. I loved the interaction with people. I loved asking if the person had ever tried ___ that they were buying, and if so did it work? I loved having repeating customers. I loved how I was called "dear" and "sweetie" by these sweet old customers, and how it wasn't sexist at all, they just thought I was a cheerful happy person and that I was a "sweetie" or a "dear". I loved how you could have 5 cranky customers in a row, and then the next one is a super nice customer that just makes you forget about the previous cranky ones. I loved how understanding customers can be when there's technical difficulties with the register, and they have to wait. You would think the majority would throw a hissy fit, but, in my experience at least, if you smile and say you're trying to get it taken care of as fast as possible, the customers understand and will just laugh or BS with you while they're waiting.

Of course customers can be cranky and things can go wrong and you can have horrible days where you just want to cry. And you can also have days where you leave smiling because of great coworkers and happy fun customers. And those are the days I try to remember when I'm having a rough day. So, do me a favor, and if I complain about being a cashier or about a rough day in the future, remind me of the happy days, ok?