All that I want to say right now

is that I feel like No Doubt's 'Don't Speak' lyrics are really, really relevant. And I hate this feeling.

I did it!

I knew I was going to. There was no doubt in my mind that I would. But let me tell you, I was so relieved when it was over.
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What? My final paper for Irish Drama, of course. 9.5 pages
Now all I have left is

• 8+ pages for 19th Century Philosophy*
• 3 pages for Folk & Fairy Tale (due Thurs. by 4:37pm)
• Final draft of my 3 page Philosophy of Religion paper*
• Final test for my Philosophy of Religion class (1pm Thursday)

* Due anytime before Friday afternoon. I will most likely get them done sometime Thursday night and hand them in Friday morning (or very late Thurs. night) because I'm going home on Friday morning. Home. For a whole month. I'm not sure if I'm happy about that not or yet, I will let you know. Assuming, of course, I can get online at all, as we only have 1 computer with (dial-up) internet access.

~I changed the font just because I like how the numbers look in this font better than the old one

I <3 weekends

For my 2:30pm breakfast I had a few spoonfuls of Turkey Hill's Tastykake kandykake ice cream. yummmmm.

Yahoo IM isnt working and I'm bored

You know, I could be using this down time to do some school work. But let's be realistic here. We all know I wouldn't do schoolwork just because I have some free time.
So instead I took pictures.
I sketched this in my Folk & FairyTales class a few weeks ago... (each character on a seperate day... the guy was from someone's shirt, the 'cat' thing I made up in my head).

They weren't sketched together, I just thought it'd be funny if I cut the paper to make it look like the guy was yanking the cat's tail and that would explain the cat's face anyway...

hah.

what I learned today:

Guys are very idiotic in groups.
Girl groups of more than 3 are very annoying.
Put a bunch of girls together at a lunch table with a bunch of guys and it gets much, much worse.

My Lazy Weekend.

This weekend was supposed to be a whirlwind of assignments getting accomplished. Guess what? Didn't happen. Here it is, 2:30 on Sunday afternoon and I've yet to complete any of my 3 assignments. I did start 2 of them, but not to any satisfactory level. I just can't get up any enthusiasm over them.

One is a presentation for my Irish Drama class. I'm doing a powerpoint (because that's the easiest) and it has to be 15 minutes long. And I do mean long, because 15 minutes seems like an impossible amount of time to fill with just me talking by myself. So far I have the Cover slide done and that's it. I do have a bunch of websites that relate to the presentation, but I'm not at all organized yet. I'm not sure how I want my presentation to go, what to put in and what to leave out and what to make 3 slides on and what to only make 1 on. I wonder how many slides this should be?

The second assignment I started is actually what I was working on before I got stuck and decided to blog. It's a philosophy of religion paper, 3-5 pages (doublespaced). It won't be that hard, I just have to organize myself better. Maybe make a layout of the essay, that might help me know what I'm doing and not just summarize the readings (because he hates when I just summarize). It's all about my opinion opinion opinion. And the thing is, like most of my class, I don't really have an opinion about this crud! I'll just pick an opinion based on what will give me the most words to write.

Why do the words come so easily for blogger but not for presentations/papers?

*update: I finished my phil. of religion paper! Exactly 3 pages, yay!
*update2: another thing done! (the 3rd of the 3 things-- I just have my presentation left!)

Sometimes

I get resentful of my roommate. Don't get me wrong, she's one of my best friends. But sometimes I wish I had a single room. She almost always goes home for the weekend (she only ever stayed an entire weekend once before) and so when I stay here for the weekend (about once a month?) I enjoy the peace and quiet I have. At home I have to deal with being everyone's taxi driver, driving so-and-so here or picking up so-and-so from there. And I have to be the tension reliever, defuse arguments and such. But when I stay here for the weekend it's like my escape. Here I'm just me. I can sleep however late I want, do my assignments when I want, and worry only about myself.

This weekend I decided to stay on campus. And guess what? Due to some storms and bad roads, my roommate is staying too. And so I have a whole weekend of her music and her silly Japanese videos on her computer playing so I can hear them. My peace and quiet is gone.
It's partly my fault that my quiet is gone. I could ask her to put her headphones on, and she would without a complaint. But then I'd feel like a grouch and it wouldn't help much anyway because she'd still laugh (out loud) at things and at least with the headphones off I can know what she's laughing at (which is better than not knowing).

I don't know. I just wish I had my alone time this weekend. Time to play my music that I wouldn't play with her here because I know she doesn't like it. Time to myself. And I'll get a few hours time to myself when she goes home for a few hours tomorrow, but that time will be spent with me frantically trying to write my essays in the few short hours of peace and quiet I have. I need everything else to be quiet when I write so I can mumble and read out loud and talk myself through my writing ('what? move that here and this here. that sounds bad. delete this. save this for later. that might be a good concluding sentence. Reference? where'd I get that quote from?'). I can't write out loud with someone else here!

sigh. Another not so happy post from me. If I had my camera I'd post a pic of me smiling so you'd know I'm not always miserable/frustrated. But that camera is at home so I guess you'll just have to imagine it, ok? Or, better yet, go check out my flickr photos. I'm sure there's one of me smiling in there somewhere.

oh :p to mushy

I haven't blogged because there isn't much to blog about lately. Although, I was thinking about posting my most recent story here... but seeing as how I got such a great response last time (sarcasm) I think I'll skip it for now.
I keep changing my mind about everything. One minute I'm happy where I am, with who I am. The next minute I wish I could completely change myself into some other form of myself. I should be smarter than I am. I should be skinnier, I should be prettier. I should do more for myself and say more when something (or someone) is bothering me. I should exercise more, be healthier. And the suckiest thing of all? Most of that I can change, it would just require effort. And sometimes I want to put that effort in, but most of the time I don't want to bother.

I've been thinking about my future a lot lately. Some of it is mushy's fault :p I keep coming up with all of these 'some-day' scenarios. Someday I'd like to be married. maybe. I know I at least want kids--- some day. I want to love someone soooo much and be loved the same (or more) back. I want to have my job and be successful at it and love it and come home at the end of the day to my guy and my kids and be happy. And other days I think I'd just be content to be one of those girls that lives in an apartment all by herself and is supporting herself by herself. With a dog.

That's one thing I'm sure of--- I want one of those HUGE mini-horse dogs. And I will have one, no matter which of those scenarios plays out, the dog is the only constant. I don't even know what I want to do for a living, but I want that dog!

Blah blah blah blah. Even I get sick of my babbling.