Sometimes

I get resentful of my roommate. Don't get me wrong, she's one of my best friends. But sometimes I wish I had a single room. She almost always goes home for the weekend (she only ever stayed an entire weekend once before) and so when I stay here for the weekend (about once a month?) I enjoy the peace and quiet I have. At home I have to deal with being everyone's taxi driver, driving so-and-so here or picking up so-and-so from there. And I have to be the tension reliever, defuse arguments and such. But when I stay here for the weekend it's like my escape. Here I'm just me. I can sleep however late I want, do my assignments when I want, and worry only about myself.

This weekend I decided to stay on campus. And guess what? Due to some storms and bad roads, my roommate is staying too. And so I have a whole weekend of her music and her silly Japanese videos on her computer playing so I can hear them. My peace and quiet is gone.
It's partly my fault that my quiet is gone. I could ask her to put her headphones on, and she would without a complaint. But then I'd feel like a grouch and it wouldn't help much anyway because she'd still laugh (out loud) at things and at least with the headphones off I can know what she's laughing at (which is better than not knowing).

I don't know. I just wish I had my alone time this weekend. Time to play my music that I wouldn't play with her here because I know she doesn't like it. Time to myself. And I'll get a few hours time to myself when she goes home for a few hours tomorrow, but that time will be spent with me frantically trying to write my essays in the few short hours of peace and quiet I have. I need everything else to be quiet when I write so I can mumble and read out loud and talk myself through my writing ('what? move that here and this here. that sounds bad. delete this. save this for later. that might be a good concluding sentence. Reference? where'd I get that quote from?'). I can't write out loud with someone else here!

sigh. Another not so happy post from me. If I had my camera I'd post a pic of me smiling so you'd know I'm not always miserable/frustrated. But that camera is at home so I guess you'll just have to imagine it, ok? Or, better yet, go check out my flickr photos. I'm sure there's one of me smiling in there somewhere.