Dear 'friend'...

I can talk and talk. And listen. And I actually pay attention. For the moment. And then when it's all over and we're through talking I wonder what was actually said. Afterwards I just feel empty, and I wonder why I even bother. What's the point in talking, in listening, if I just feel empty afterwards? Like that conversation was meaningless, like I just wasted all that time? But I don't want to feel like this. We're friends. Friends should get something out of talking, shouldn't they? It shouldn't feel like you're just shallow friends, the type that only talk about things to fill the silence and don't really care. Except I do care. I think. I want to. But I also want to feel cared about in return. And I don't.
I just feel so empty.