life is just so

:( difficult.

And I don't want to blog about it, because this blog is turning into a horrible whiney thing. And while you may say you don't care that this is actually about me just whining all the time, why would you really want to read that? And so I'm not doing it anymore unless I really need to. After this.

And I can't talk to anyone about it, because there's not one specific thing and to just vent to someone would either be me talking their ear off or not knowing where to start. And I know they say talking helps sometimes, but it won't actually fix the problems, they're not emotional things or things that have a solution, they're actual problems that can't be solved, that nothing short of changing events of a few years ago and/or a magic wand could fix. And since I don't see either of those solutions happening, what's the point in whining about it?

And so I just spend my days pretending nothing's wrong.
Yea sure, I'm ok.
Why wouldn't I be?
I'm fine...
As long as I can pretend...
As long as I don't think...
I don't want to...
I can't...
Don't make me...
It hurts too much.