Time.

A lot can happen in a year. And it can seem like such a short amount of time. A year. Sometimes when you say it, it seems long. When it's past, it seems like yesterday. I've started thinking about this because I was reading my archives. I tend to do that occasionally, just to see what I was thinking on 'this' day 1 year ago. Well, on April 28 2003 I was trying to explain my dad being thisclose to dying. I don't think the seriousness of the accident itself came across too well. You can read it for yourself (sorry I'm not sure how to link to it) or just take my opinion on it.

It's amazing how fast this year seems to have went by. It feels like just yesterday I was tip-toeing upstairs after midnight, so as not to wake my little sister, to wake my mom and tell her that dad wasn't home yet and that the police were on the phone. That has to be one of the most scariest things a person can go through. You wouldn't believe the thoughts that rush through you. You wonder what happened? is he dead? did someone die? was he in an accident? did he get a DUI? is he ok? please God let him be ok. Let us be ok. That's what's going through your head, over and over and over in the space of a second. Time seems to stretch, never has a 30 minute drive seemed so long. Or so short. Time just turns into an enemy, pulling you in whatever direction it wants. Teasing you. Making moments of torture into hours, while seconds of happiness are only seconds. Time is unfair. Even when you realize you don't control time, you aren't prepared for that one second when everything can change. And it does. My whole family's lives were flipped around when the accident happened. We're still recovering. And I'm just grateful that we are all still here to recover. Because it was so gut-wrenching, heart stoppingly close.

You grow stronger with time too. Things that happened 10, or even 5, years ago may not seem as harsh. Wounds have turned into scars. The scars still hurt, but time dulls the pain.

And I know, in time, good things will happen (and yes, they are happening) and the bad memories will fade. They will still linger, but I'll have to think harder to recall them. It's just when you look back, the memories assult you. Time seems to fade, and all of a sudden it's a year ago and I'm back where I was.