My back is sore. For a couple reasons, but the main one being I shoveled stones from a pickup truck onto the ground today. We had to cover the mud. It was disgusting, and now with the stones it is a lot better.

I want daffodils. I mean, I'm really wanting them. That's weird for me, because even though I like flowers, I don't usually want any certain one at any certain time. But right now I really want daffodils. And everywhere I go where I think I could get some, they don't have any. grrr. I even found a daffodil picture and made it into wallpaper for my desktop, so at least if I don't get real daffodils I can have fake ones. sigh. I think they remind me of spring, and that's why I want them. Also, they remind me of when I was younger. At the one house we lived at, from when I was about 5-10years old, we had this HUGE tire swing my dad made for us. It was one of those tractor tires, the really big ones, that if you flip it so it's laying like this ---- instead of like this | like most tire swings are, it could fit like 5 kids on it. It was great fun. He hung the swing from this giant tree, and we'd spin the tire around and around and let go.... and then we'd hold on tight while the world spun around us. It was a ton of fun, my most favorite toy ever. Next to the tire swing were the daffodils, which is probably another reason why daffodils are my favorite flower, when I think of them I think of sun and happier, carefree times (well, they were for me at least). Childhood. I really do wish I could go back. When we left the house, we left the swing. And now where we live, there's not a tree, let alone a tree with a big enough branch for a tire swing.

I'm going to be 18 in October. That's pretty scary. Well, I'm mixed up. On one hand, I'd love to be able to say I'm 18, it sounds so "grown up" and mature. But then again... I'm not sure if I'm ready to be grown up and mature. That means leaving everything I know. Leaving home, going to college, starting my life without what I've lived with for the past 17/18 years. I know my family will still be here when I leave, and it's not even that. It's just a new chapter, a new book even, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to stop the old one. Good thing I still have 7 months to get used to it.