Oy, was I upset this morning.

If you read this, sorry 'wobbie' (lol) for not talking, I was just way too upset, all I wanted to do was go back up to bed and cry. Unusual for me, because I hate crying. Well, I don't mind if others do it, it just seems like I should be stronger than that, that I shouldn't let a few relatively little things (in the great big scheme of life) get to me so much that it makes me cry. Anyway, I guess it's time to explain exactly what was making me so upset, no?

Ok, so..here goes...

For the past few days I haven't been feeling well, nothing major, just like a headache at night and/or my nose would hurt, just something like that. Last night I was awake till 3am, and then when mom woke my sis and I up, it was only 9:30. That's 6 1/2 hours sleep, which is totally my fault, I know. I should go to bed earlier, because I know I can't sleep in, especially since I have a Lit. chat every Monday at 10. Anyway, so, I was tired. And, I had a headache, my back hurt, my neck hurt, and it was an all around struggle to even want to get out of bed. Mom woke us up so we could take the dogs for a walk (dogs, plural. See entry from 2/28) Well, needless to say, I didn't really feel like taking the dogs out for a walk. Besides, I needed a shower, and I felt all grungy and gross (probably more due to my cold than the need of a shower though). Anyway, mom only needed one of us girls to take Pudgy out, since my brother was taking our dog Gidget. I asked Heidi to take the dog out, and she said no, you should. Anyway, we got into a little arguement, but it worked out that I wouldn't have to take the dogs out, since my back hurt, etc. I thought Heidi was ok with this, but all of a sudden she whirled around, stomped her foot, and yelled "YOU ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT! IT'S ALWAYS YOUR WAY!" which, needless to say since I share a room with her (definetly not one of my choices) is not true. So fine, I said if she was going to throw such a fit about it, I would take the dog out. Anyway, at this point, mom was yelling from downstairs "Heather you should take the..." and I interrupted, yelling back "I already said I'd take the freakin dog out!" and then while I'm stomping around getting dressed, throwing on my boots and my jacket (cause it's freezing again), mom keeps saying things how I shouldn't do this, shouldn't do that, etc. How as soon as she asks anyone to do something that doesn't involve the computer, we throw a fit. Then she added "Especially you, Heather" on the end of that tirade. Well, that is so unfair because I'm always off my computer, actually, I've been going on it less and less lately because of my headaches and not feeling so well. I turned it off for about 4-5 hours the one day. Mom ended this tirade with that both Heidi and I are going to bed early tonight. Which I hate since I don't have a bedtime, and there is no reason why I should go to bed early, my staying up late had nothing to do with why I was mad. So I was mad at mom, and Heidi now.
Ok, so I take the dog out. Fine. Who really cares. I could have done without the dramatics, I didn't need that crap so early in the morning. I go in my Lit chat and my teacher isn't there, which is fine because I wasn't really in the mood for the chat anyway (as much as I love my lit chats, just didn't feel like it).
Cut to mid-morning, Mom's no longer making comments on what I should and shouldn't do, instead she's asking "what's wrong" and trying to be all nice, and I was just really not in the mood to deal with her, or anyone. So, I went to my room, cleaned it up (I clean when I'm upset, lol) and put on my Eminem cd, which actually mellowed me out. It didn't mellow me out enough that I'm not still mad, because I am, not because of Heidi's hysterics, but because as soon as Heidi throws the hysterics it's automatically my fault. Well, sometimes Heidi's wrong too, ya know? Sometimes she just throws an unjustifiable fit, for no good reason at all other than that she feels like you're not listening to her (even when you are). She can be a real brat when she wants to be. Maybe it's the age. That's what I keep telling myself, because I remember when I was 13 I threw quite a lot of fits actually. I remember telling my mom I hated her, and how I wished I was adopted. That's not true now, I love my mommy, and she's like a best friend. But, yea, so I guess I can see that Heidi throwing her fits is just a phase, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Ahhh, I feel better now. I'm actually talking to Heidi, and mom. We're back to our normal, psychotic and chaotic us. Is chaotic a word? if not, it should be. Typing all that out helped, made me think through it. Ahhh.






What's up with these pop-up ads? They didn't used to have any popping up, and now all of a sudden there is 2? Very very annoying.


Well, I'm off to exercise now. 1 1/2 hours later than normal, due to my delayed Lit chat and my blogging, but earlier I wasn't really feeling up to it, but I am now, so I guess it's good I was delayed, lol. Anyway, today is week 2 of nothing but water to drink! Yippy Skippy. lol. Well, that's all for now, bye :)